The Power of Silence and Eye Contact
Posted by Dr. Cason on Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
How often do you sit in silence?
How often do you give eye contact?
How often do you sit in silence and make eye contact?
Lance posted Shhh…at his blog The Jungle of Life yesterday. He discussed silence and how it important it is to have in our life. Silence gives us the opportunity to grow and understand ourselves. I couldn’t agree more Lance.
Just before medical school I attended a workshop which was fun and a little intimidating. One particular exercise stands out.
The leaders took about 10 people -me including- from a group of over 100 people and had us line up side by side in front of the room. Hands by our side we all turned and faced the audience. No one was allowed to speak.The room was absolute silent.
We looked at the audience. The audience looked at us. At me.
No talking. No laughing.
We just stood and looked. At strangers.
After a while people started to shift around. Some started to laugh right out loud and some just stood there.
What did I do?
I cried.
I couldn’t stop. All my insecurities came bubbling to the surface. I never realized how much I covered up my fear with my nonstop chattering. When you took all that away. I was just me.
The lingering silence just kept on going. The longer I stood there the more I really looked at the audience. Some of them were also having a hard time. As I slowly realized they were just like me, I stopped crying and a gentle peaceful feeling washed over me. This simple act of standing quietly and just observing had taught me more than any self-help book I had ever read.
Now I watch the children who come in my office.
They stand there waiting.
Silent. Looking up at me.
And I feel their vulnerability.
They too are just like me.
Filed in How to be a Happier Parent, My Favorite Photos, My Life, Self Improvement, Uncategorized |
Lanceon 02 Jul 2008 at 10:47 pm 1That is a powerful exercise! I think I would feel uneasy and uncomfortable. And it would be because of what you described - vulnerability. All the shields would be down. I’m sure this was a difficult exercise to do, but one you now are glad to have been involved in. I think sometimes we don’t realize the benefits of things like this until some time later - maybe hours, days, or years.
And, I see the real benefit of this in what you stated in the end - feeling the vulnerability of your patients. That is a special skill to be able to do this and provide the support they need!
Lances last blog post..Get Out and Play
Audubon Ronon 02 Jul 2008 at 11:10 pm 2I like your posts, they always give me something to think about…even though I’m not equipped for that activity.
Audubon Rons last blog post..Stress Management
Kylaon 03 Jul 2008 at 12:54 am 3Wow. I think I would have cried, too. I’m not the best at public speaking, but I can handle it because I at least have the words to focus on. I don’t know how I could be silent with all that uncomfortable attention.
I’m glad you remember that when treating your wee patients, though. That’s important.
Kylas last blog post..Fancy talk
Lisaon 03 Jul 2008 at 8:08 am 4Wow, I don’t what I am without my witty banter.
Lisas last blog post..Part VIII, movin on up
tiffon 03 Jul 2008 at 9:46 am 5I have learnt to sit with silence lately.
I love the last line in your post.
So true.
tiffs last blog post..Glow In The Woods 6 x 6
Queen Mommyon 03 Jul 2008 at 12:05 pm 6The radio is broken in my car and I love it.
I wish you could be our pediatrician!
Queen Mommys last blog post..After work and daycare
Dr. Casonon 03 Jul 2008 at 3:42 pm 7Lance- You’re right. It’s only years later that I keep looking back and remembering this one time.
Audubon- Not equipped for what activity?
Kyla- Normally I’m okay with speaking- As long as it’s something I know. But the silence. Unnerving.
Lisa- given hat I have read so far, probably very sweet.
Tiff- I’m sure. Hospitals tend to give you time to reflect. A forced rest.
Queen Mommy- Sure!! It’s a bit of a commute though!
Barbara Swaffordon 03 Jul 2008 at 4:09 pm 8Hi Dr. Cason,
What a great post.
Like you, I read Lance’s post. It was great. I actually love silence. I work in the quiet and when I drive, I rarely have the radio on. I enjoy being “alone” with my thoughts and find I’m more productive.
I love how you see yourself in your little patients. I’m sure they feel your compassion.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..MMM - Can She Talk?
Nora Beeon 04 Jul 2008 at 3:46 pm 9That’s an amazing story. I always think about how silence is such an integral part of music. It’s hard to carve out a slice of it in this world, that’s for sure.
Nora Bees last blog post..Vandals!
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Mapon 09 Jul 2008 at 1:07 pm 10Wow…this sure sounds like a powerful exercise. It would have been useful for me too.
I’ve written an article about Experiencing the Gap on my site. It just seems that more and more of us are realising how beautiful Silence can be.
Thanks for sharing,
Evelyn
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Maps last blog post..How To Calm Down From Unresolved Anger Quickly
Dr. Casonon 09 Jul 2008 at 1:24 pm 11Barbara- I remember when I was little my parents would ask for silence. Huh? I totally didn’t get it. But now I’ll run anywhere to have that quiet gentle time.
Nora Bee- You’re right. Without the spaces of silence music would just run together. We can think of ourselves in that way as well. Just interject a little silence here and there and it’s the difference between a loud blaring sound and a beautifully composed masterpeice.
Evelyn- Thanks for sharing. I’ll make it a point to go visit you. I’ve always been attracted to meditation and yoga for that reason. It’s a time to hear your own heart beat and be. Still.
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