Does He Look Pale to You?
Posted by Dr. Cason on Sunday, September 21st, 2008
We went back to the doctor’s office and I voiced my concern.
“Does he look pale to you?”
This has become an obsession with me- Daily I ask my husband, my girl friends, my neighbors and now the pediatrician.
“No really … look closer. He seems pale right? His color is off.”
Most of them look at me and shrug. “He’s pale. Just like the others. ”
*sigh*
He looks paler to me.
So I’m still searching. We’re off egg, milk and peanuts. And he still looks sick.
So I walked in and asked for some tests.
I asked the pediatrician for some labs like I was ordering off a menu and she was my waitress.
“I’ll have the CBC, Ig E to Dustmite and can you add a side of Toxocara Antibody?”
She politely took down my requests, smiled when I said I was a neurotic mom who knew too much and directed it off in a computer.Which wouldn’t take the request – Probably a little too bizarre. “Go to the lab”, she reassured “and I’ll have it figured out by then.”
So off we went and I leaned all the way over into the lab tech’s work station to look at her computer. I crinkled my brows – turning that number 1 into a 111- and read off the order. “Yep that’s all I wanted!” She looked at me crazily…
God Help me. This whole ordeal has turned me into THAT kind of mother. The one that you dodge, dip your head and avoid eye contact because IF YOU DON’T she just might come over and start spewing nonsense like -
“Look at my son. Does he look pale to you?”
Filed in My Life | 15 responses so far
Trishon 21 Sep 2008 at 3:56 pm 1I actually have a fabulous image of you leaning over the lab tech thanks to your description!
A mom and a pediatrician…. what a combination…. it may make you overly concerned, but given your situation, it is that knowledgeable attentiveness that will save your son — so what if others think you’re nuts – since when have you cared what other people thinK?
You’ll get there – to the there that is the answer – it is your tenacity that will make it happen.
I am sending you good thoughts from California to Guam….
Trishs last blog post..Passport to Identity Commotion
Kathleenon 21 Sep 2008 at 4:37 pm 2Sheila – No, you sound like a mother who loves her son very much and will NOT take any chances. Good for you.
My two sons went to the Pediatric Associates Group in Memphis, TN, because I knew all the doctors there had trained at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and would spot ANYTHING out of the ordinary with them. Dr. Pender used to call it the “St. Jude Syndrome” with we mothers from the hospital.
I sent you an e-mail for some possible help if you need it from an infectious disease specialist. Please be sure and look for this e-mail in your e-mail box.
Keep us informed. Praying all is okay.
Nikkion 21 Sep 2008 at 6:29 pm 3I envy your crazy “does he look pale to you?” ways. I’m all “do I look crazy to you?” and there all come back next month and we can talk about it, and then I’m all “uhhh, ok, if you say so, I know your busy so next month sounds reasonable”
Be happy that you at least you know the right questions to ask!
Lanceon 21 Sep 2008 at 7:37 pm 4You love your son, and want him well. You have every right to be reassured he is ok. Hang in there Sheila…
Lances last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day
Dr. Casonon 21 Sep 2008 at 8:41 pm 5Trish- You’re right. They can look at me weird as long as he gets better.
Kathleen- Still praying nightly and sitting by his bed surrounding him with good healing light and lots of other crazy sounding crunchy granola ways. If it helps I’ll try anything.
Nikki- You’re right at least I know what questions to ask. Read Read Read and it’ll get better. You’re only a new mom for so long then experience kicks in and soon you’re advising other new moms and you’re the old timer.
Lance- Thanks. Hanging in there.
Evelyn Limon 22 Sep 2008 at 2:27 am 6Well, if you have a concern and you cannot shake it off, then I’d say pay attention to it. Go investigate and ease your mind.
All the best and take care!
Evelyn
Evelyn Lims last blog post..Attract Our Travel Dreams
tiffon 22 Sep 2008 at 9:43 am 7I’m with Evelyn,
Mums just know.
I feels crazy (I know) and I know it’s hard to push past the crazies but you do it because you love your boy with all your heart and you want him to be at his best.
Hugs. It’s between a rock and a hard place you are.
Also, thank you for the kind comments on my blog. You are sweet.
tiffs last blog post..More on this.
Dr. Casonon 22 Sep 2008 at 12:09 pm 8Moon Mom- Thanks I’ll keep hunting.
Evelyn- Thank you!
Tiff- You’re quite welcome! I told my dr husband and he was like “WHAT! You accept the coffee card” and then I told another pediatrician and she was like “WHAT!” We all agree no one has ever told us not to accept gifts. I mean it was a coffee card not a house for crimeny sakes.
Linda Abbiton 22 Sep 2008 at 5:18 pm 9If you’re not an advocate for your son, who will be?
Keep up the good work & good mothering, Dr. Cason!
Linda Abbits last blog post..Funny Fridays: Because It’s Better to Laugh than to Cry!
Lisaon 23 Sep 2008 at 2:14 am 10Took Katie to get her labs drawn(CBC and a the pediatrician offered to throw in the LDH just for peace of mind, did I mention I love him?) and I kept thinking she looks fatigued. I was asking her, are you tired? What’s wrong? She told me her sister woke her up early. But I did look her over for bruises one more time. Can’t help it. Know too much.
Labs will be back tomorrow and I will be able to relax and tell myself it was just a virus. I am one of those Moms too.
Lisas last blog post..The Horror!
Dr. Casonon 23 Sep 2008 at 8:24 am 11Linda- This is true.
Lisa- I wished I’d added that to my guys labs! Probably paranoid.
Sara Rosson 23 Sep 2008 at 11:30 am 12Sorry to hear you think something is not right with your little guy. I stopped caring if the doctors (no offensive)
think I am one of “those moms”. You have to because in the end you ARE your childrens’ best advocate.
I think our peditrician thinks I am crazy when I walk in there.
Like the other posts said, you just know as a mom, when something isn’t right with your kids.
I feel like there are barely enough hours in the day for daily life activities and to throw in research of questions to ask the doctors is difficult to squeeze in sometimes. It is an evil, but you are lucky you know what to ask when you are in your pedi’s office.
As an aside, can I squeeze a question in since I should have probably visited our pedi today, but didn’t. Lily fell into our platform bed frame yesterday (right angle corners, (I know not at all baby friendly)). She hit it square in the nose, she has a few scrapes on the nose and between the eyes and the bridge of her nose and the inside corner of her eye is black and blue. She definitely wailed a good cry when it happened. She is acting normal. Should I have her looked at?
Thanks Sheila and hang in there.
Dr. Casonon 23 Sep 2008 at 12:18 pm 13Sara- I emailed you this but here it is again-
Thanks for the encouragement! Yeah, you should probably at least call and have them triage you. Whether or not they want to see you depends on how your pediatrician feels. For most things- if the baby is acting okay- you can wait and watch. But I do worry about the eye a little and would want to see that it looks normal!
Patriciaon 23 Sep 2008 at 2:27 pm 14Dr. Cason,
I think it is great to be concerned about your kiddo. I don’t think one can know too much. I grabbed a spiral notebook and made my own observations after one doctor called me a “bitch” – infront of my kiddo.
I think I have been called every name in the book and refused the doctor’s I wanted. I just tried everything – one kiddo has had 1,000 kidney stones plus allergies over her 29 years.(Her body has no ability to use calcium – especially artificial sources) One was having anxiety attacks at 2 and could not separate or sleep (turned out to be Celiac Disease)- 25 years old and studying to be a librarian, and number three has a cleft site in her brain which causes the inability to retrieve information from long term memory, hyper activity, and oppositional defiant disorder. After 12 surgeries for cleft palate repair/no ear tudes; she was a behavioral nightmare many days – you should hear her play the piano or watch her play tennis, and she is 22 years and on her last year at college in business and communications. (Can’t understand money at all -symbolic)
I had to home school some of the time, ask and ask, study and try on a huge number of therapies. Changing the diet made huge differences for all of them and all the cleaning products I used (vinegar and water made the allergies worse)
I had to stop worrying about all the names I was being called and weigh each suggestion with all the love I could muster…My Father was Washington State Director of Special Education and he would say:”Try everything, throw out what doesn’t work, and hang on to what does – what does work will teach you.”
Even my mother thought I was off base many times! And I got tired and lost patience…but they are your kids and you want them to be able to have choice in their lives and be the best that they can be.
You are seeing pale….keep asking yourself “what am I not seeing?”
Aren’t you lucky that you know the tests to order up! Wow
Here is my favorite insult: I kind of savor this one…the child psychologist said to me about my youngest (we had just gotten alarms on the windows and doors to keep her in the house all night long.) when he finally rendered a diagnosis, “The Mother is in denial about the child’s behaviors and patterns of ADHD and ODD and will not allow medications” – child was 15yrs then.
4 Months later a speech pathologist and learning specialist ordered up a brain scan and found the lesion….we started inputting material as though she had had a stroke….A whole, new person emerged. She takes a small dose Adderall once a day, mercury free Omega-3 fish oil, and 30 minutes of aerobic exercise.
what if I had stopped asking and advocating for my children? even once?
I tell you the answer will bubble up…in a magic way…keep asking.
Patricias last blog post..PTSD Part 5: My Conclusions
kcinnovaon 23 Sep 2008 at 9:28 pm 15Mommy knows best, because mothers have radar for these things. Hang in there and keep looking. I know you won’t give up!
kcinnovas last blog post..As the leaves turn